Words from the heart

心灵絮语

Disclaimer: The writings do not represent the views of The SAFE U Initiative. Writers are personally responsible for the accuracy of the information and for the nature of the views expressed in the articles.The copyright of these articles contributed to Words from the heart belong to the writers.

Words from the heart is a safe space for members of the public to share mental health related stories, reflections and opinion pieces which are personally significant to them. We also recruit resident volunteer writers who write in on a more regular basis. Through these sharings, we hope that the the sincerity and authenticity of these writers will touch your heart and provide you with some sort of resonance and solace during times of difficulty. 

If you have lived experience or currently going through mental health difficulties, we welcome you to send in your writings. Expressing your deeper thoughts and emotions through writing can have significant mental health benefits and we highly encourage you to do so. We look for writings with an emotional connection and genuineness. You are free to express yourself creatively but flair is not a requirement. We only ask that you write with kindness because it can be felt and healing at the same time.

“Writing is medicine. It is an appropriate antidote to injury. It is an appropriate companion for any difficult change.” 

- Julia Cameron


How to Stop Overthinking and Find Peace

By Zeng Yi Ting


Have you ever found yourself lying in bed, repeating a conversation over and over again, wondering if you said something wrong? Alternatively, if you are worried about the future, imagine all possible problems before they occur. Many of us are struggling with overthinking, which may feel overwhelming, but we can find peace by calming our restless thoughts.

Overthinking often stems from the desire to be prepared or avoid making mistakes. Analyzing every detail seems to give you control over the situation. But in fact, overthinking does not solve problems - it only creates more pressure and makes it harder for people to focus on the present moment. So, how can we gently guide our thoughts away from the endless cycle of worries?

Shift from "What If" to "What Is"

Overthinking is often fueled by “what if” questions: What if I make a mistake? What if something goes wrong? But most of these thoughts are based on fear, not reality. Shifting your focus to what is actually happening can help ease unnecessary worries.

Give Your Thoughts a Rest

This may sound simple, but temporarily stopping thinking can make a big difference. When your mind is filled with worries, try to leave for a while. Do something that requires your attention but won't exhaust you - listen to music, take a walk, or even make a cup of tea.

Taking a break for the brain does not mean ignoring your problems; But it means giving yourself space to breathe, so that you can return with a clearer perspective.

Accept That Some Things Are Uncertain

One important reason why we overthink is that we want certainty - we want to know that things will get better. But life is unpredictable, and no amount of thinking can guarantee perfect results. Don't try to predict or control everything, don't think about things that will only happen a few years later. Accepting uncertainty does not mean giving up - it means freeing oneself from the pressure of trying to solve all problems immediately.

Your thoughts are powerful, but you are not your thoughts. You don't have to believe every worry that arises, don't worry about the impossible. Taking a step back, taking a deep breath, and reminding yourself that you are doing your best is possible.

Finding peace does not mean never having anxious thoughts again - it means learning to let anxieties come and go, rather than letting them occupy your heart. With the passage of time, patience, and self compassion, your heart will become quieter and kinder.


Yiting is a Chinese student currently studying in Singapore. She enjoys listening to music and running, and has a deep passion for psychology. Her academic journey includes attending a psychology summer program at Oxford University and participating in the British Psychology Olympiad Competition. 

In addition, Yiting is also committed to public welfare activities. She participated in a project to write letters to children in mountainous areas of China, providing companionship and support for them.

Academic Stress and Private Tuition

 By Tan Poh Ching 


Over the years, there has been endless debates over private tuition in Singapore.   The news on the growing market of private tuition ( home-based or tuition centres, one to one or group lessons ).  If you research on the internet, there are countless articles or writings based on personal opinions in this.  I use an example of one that I have included below for reference:

Need for shift away from over-emphasis on academic results 

( https://www.moe.gov.sg/news/forum-letter-replies/20191212-need-for-shift-away-from-over-emphasis-on-academic-results ) 

As a former tuition centre tutor, ex-MOE relief teacher and previous trainer for various educational programmes, an experienced home tutor, I know reasons behind parents’ intention to sign up their children for tuition or enrichment programmes, even for non-academic programmes.  The common reasons are preparation for major national exams such as PSLE, N-levels, O-levels or important streaming years such as secondary two, to catch up with their peers in academic learning and therefore grades or to score distinctions.  Other motives could be that they are showing that they can afford to pay for tuition lessons for their children or that they have to follow the trend that private tuition is the norm for school-going children.   One father has ever WhatsApp me that he wanted his child to have tuition because he wanted to just give help to his child when he could do so via the financial mean of being able to send him for tuition lessons.  I guess perhaps he just didn’t want to be blamed by the child if he didn’t do well during his adulthood that his father has not tried his best to support him financially when he was young. Many parents chose to send their children to well-known tuition centres as they trust the brand name and are willing to pay premium price to let their children to go for the experience to learn in those nicely-renovated centres, with learning materials provided.  They also feel confident of these learning providers.  Students also request for tuition, for the extra help during their major exams years.  Financial cost goes up per household for tuition is thus contributing to the yearly inflation for education sector in Singapore.  Not only tuition, some children are also attending non-academic enrichment classes such as ballet, violin, piano, swimming etc.  The purpose is to prove that they are well-rounded individuals and to use them to beef up his or her portfolio.  The portfolio can be used for application during direct admission to schools or to use even during adulthood for job application.

Private tuition does support a child’s learning but parents have to balance their finances and their child’s learning capabilities too, in the long-run.

Many years ago, I had ever tutored one primary 5 girl who stayed in a condominium with their parents and extended family.  The family could afford to pay for all the extra support the girl needed for her learning but she was still not scoring the high results the family was expecting from her.  Despite tuition lessons and her mum’s personal coaching, her grades keep hovering at the borderline, either passing only or almost getting a passed grade.  Her mum was very aggressive in her pursuit for achievements during her daughter’s academic journey and fierce to her.  It was not unusual for me to witness them getting into a fierce quarrel.  Eventually, the girl fell sick one day and had to be admitted to the hospital.  She told me when she was discharged and was at home.  She felt as though she was getting a heart attack and was diagnosed to have thyroid disease.  It was very unfortunate that she was also diagnosed with concentration issues and had to be put on medication treatment.  I really think till now that she had tried her best.  She could have other strengths such as in arts and to learn according to her pace as well as to pursue her interest instead.

Some students can thrive in academic stress, to improve themselves even further but some have to develop their strengths at their own pace and then become the best version of themselves gradually.

Tan Poh Ching is a regular volunteer and semi-retired.  She is a lifelong learner who continues to take courses such as Customer Service.  Currently, she is a part-time student at Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Specialist Diploma in Mental Wellness and Youth Development.

Letters to My Past and Future Self : Reflecting on Growth and Aspirations 

By Cora Soong


Writing a letter to my past self feels like gently unlocking a door to a room bathed in soft, flickering memories. The air is heavy with echoes of old dreams, the weight of past struggles, and the shadows of doubts that once felt insurmountable. I can almost see the version of myself standing there – uncertain, vulnerable, yet full of hope. I look back at her and feel a quiet reverence for how far she has come, even if she didn’t always know where she was going.

Growth, I realise, is never a straight line. It’s a twisting, unpredictable journey that weaves between joy and pain, failure and triumph. The person I once was is not someone I can simply leave behind – she is a part of me, a version that still shapes the person I’ve become. And while I stand taller now, with clearer eyes and deeper understanding, I can’t forget the softness and vulnerability that once made me search for meaning in places that were often too dark to see.

To my past self, I want to say: You are enough. It’s okay to not have everything figured out. You don’t need to rush through life trying to find certainty. Trust the journey, even when it feels like you’re stumbling in the dark. The road ahead will not always be kind, but each hardship will add another layer of strength you can’t yet comprehend. Remember, it’s okay to fail. You won’t lose who you are in those moments. Failure isn’t a mark of defeat. It’s simply a stepping stone, leading you to something better. Let go of the notion of perfection, it’s a cage that you’ve built yourself. It’s a cage, not a crown. Life will not always go the way you plan, and sometimes, that’s a blessing in disguise. Trust that the universe has its own rhythm, and you are learning to dance to it. Above all, be gentle with yourself – you are doing the best you can.

To my future self, I wish I could write about all the things I hope to achieve, the person I long to become. But I realize that before I get there, I need to acknowledge the person I am right now. It’s easy to overlook the present when the future seems so much brighter, but the present is where the magic lies. I won’t pretend I have everything figured out for I am far from it. Some days, it feels like I’m barely holding on, as if I’m drowning in the weight of my own thoughts. But in those moments, I also know that I’m no longer who I was. I’ve learned, I’ve stumbled, and I’m still trying. Progress is not always visible, but it’s there, growing quietly in the spaces between moments. Healing is not linear, and that’s okay. Please, never forget how far you’ve come, even when the road ahead seems long. Stay compassionate with yourself – you’re only human. And above all, hold onto the belief that no matter the challenges, you’re worthy of love from others, and most importantly, from yourself.

As I reflect on both the past and the future, I realize that growth is not just about the milestones we reach, but about the person we become in the process. It’s about embracing the lessons from yesterday while holding the hope for tomorrow. Every small decision, every quiet act of resilience, every tear shed, and every victory celebrated, they all shape us in ways we often cannot see in the moment, but which become clear when we look back upon ourselves.

In the end, writing to both the person I once was and the person I hope to be is a reminder that growth is not just a destination. It is a continuous unfolding of who we are becoming. These letters are mirrors reflecting not just the paths we’ve walked, but the grace with which we navigate the journey. And in that reflection, we find peace — a peace that comes from accepting the past, embracing the present, and trusting the future.

Cora is a passionate writer who believes in the power of open conversations about mental wellness. Drawing from her own reflections and practical insights, she aims to create a safe and supportive space for readers. When Cora is not writing, she enjoys exploring thought-provoking topics and connecting with others through shared stories. She looks forward to sharing more of her works with you!

Agony of Parents 

By Tan Poh Ching

 

During my last lesson at Ngee Ann (NP) Poly campus before we have our Chinese New Year week break, my group was assigned class group work which was to discuss about barriers faced when working with parents.  This was for the module on Managing Stakeholders: Engaging Parents and Community. I instantly recalled my past experiences from more than two decades of teaching especially since my group focused on unrealistic expectations of parents. I shared with my group on various possible mental state and thinking of parents that could lead to this. Most of the times, denial of issues had been also the factor that created the barrier working with parents. The lecturer who used to work as a psychologist with Ministry of Education (MOE) also shared her similar experiences on this matter. 

When parents are informed about their child who may need to be transferred to special school after their child has been diagnosed with as a child with special needs such as autism, intellectual disability or other forms of learning difficulties that justify the need to do so, many times, these parents would deny the situation. They could insist that their children are intelligent enough to stay in the mainstream schools. I had encountered parents who engaged me as home tutor for their child.  They knew me through recommendation from a friend ( via word of mouth ). I started tutoring the child and realised that their child could not express himself verbally much to communicate to me.  He could only speak a few simple sentences at one time and was very bad-tempered. The parents told me it was just his personality and not anything else.  He failed his spelling tests weekly and the parents were indirectly blaming me by casting angry stares at me. I am not professionally trained to make medical diagnoses. One day, the mum then finally told me very frankly that school teachers had been suggesting to her about her son’s learning difficulties causes over a period of time even before I began tutoring their son. 

It is very heartbreaking for parents and understandable for them to be in denial stage and still expect their children to stay in  mainstream schools, to be like the majority of children in Singapore schools. As NP polytechnic lecturer shared, MOE team would only confirm such diagnosis after a lengthy period of time and meetings with the parents as well as communications during the same period. Parents would eventually come to terms with it and consider suggestions for the best of their child.

Tan Poh Ching is a regular volunteer and semi-retired.  She is a lifelong learner who continues to take courses such as Customer Service.  Currently, she is a part-time student at Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Specialist Diploma in Mental Wellness and Youth Development.

"When You’re Broken on the Ground, You Will Be Found”. What ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ Has Taught Me about Self-Acceptance. 

By Teng 

Image retrieved from Playbill


Multiple tears were shed that fine Friday night, with heavy sniffles echoing across the theatre. As the cast of Pangdemonium’s Dear Evan Hansen (2024) took their bows under the striking stage lights, the lyrics to ‘You Will Be Found’ continued to reverberate through my mind, evoking a feeling of aching tenderness that lingered within me. ‘Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?’ These questions had pierced straight into my heart, reigniting repressed memories of the 9-year old girl that used to cry herself to sleep every night, and of the 15 year-old teenager that wished she could fall asleep at all. Even more profoundly, these questions had struck a deep chord with the 19-year-old sitting in the theatre, who was grappling with an overwhelming sense of paralysis in a world where everyone else seemed to be connecting, progressing, and thriving.

For the longest time, I had convinced myself that I could not pinpoint the exact cause of the crushing weight on my chest that would resurface from time to time. In truth, I was ashamed to admit that I was struggling, even to myself. That I was deeply insecure and grappling with emotional challenges far more than I was willing to acknowledge. That I felt I lacked intellectual skills or talents I could confidently claim to excel in. That I, in fact, did not know what I was doing or where I was headed, despite mounting expectations for success (internally and externally). That I was terrified of being seen—truly seen — for the person that I believed I was.

At the same time, however, I yearned for a sanctuary. For the presence of an abstract hand that could lift me away from the weight of worldly pressures and expectations. A force that could see beyond my smiling façade, and yet be free from the capacity for judgment.

In a sense, I feared being ‘found’  — but I wanted to be. It was a conflicting balance between not wanting to have my vulnerabilities exposed, and yet desiring to be accepted and understood for who I was.

The character of Evan Hansen thus resonated with me. His note to self, which was subsequently misinterpreted as Connor Murphy’s suicide note, was a projection of his unspoken desires to be heard and acknowledged. As he attributed to Connor the empathy and understanding that he himself craved (through ‘The Connor Project’), Evan vicariously experienced the recognition and connection he had always wished for. In a way, Evan was able to externalise his deepest vulnerabilities through a persona of sorts, allowing him to obtain some sense of respite whilst preserving a modicum of his personal dignity. It seemed as though he had found the 'perfect balance’: having his insecurities acknowledged, without fully laying himself bare to the judging eyes of his peers.

However, the tightrope that he had walked was a precarious one, and the staging made this clear to its audience. There was only so far Evan could keep up his acts, before his thoughts (and external suspicions) consumed him from within. Beyond the fundamental immorality of exploiting a deceased peer’s memory for personal gain, the strain of maintaining his fictitious identity had gradually eroded his sense of self, and paradoxically forced him into yet another web of lies. The affirmation that he received, though it was filled with all he ever wanted to hear, was built on a disguise. Instead of healing his wounded soul, Evan eventually became more pressed and confused than ever.

It was only through the complete unraveling of his pretenses, that Evan was able to find the clarity and peace he had long sought. His confession about the true origins of Connor’s ‘suicide note,’ was further heightened by his shocking admission to the imagined Connor (a manifestation of his subconscious) that his hand injury had not been accidental, but was the result of him deliberately attempting to end his life. More than anything, these moments powerfully dramatized his raw honesty with himself about his profound pain and suicidal thoughts, allowing him to come to terms with the fact that he was struggling.

And that it was (is) okay to be. Because it is part and parcel of who we are.

The play made me realize that in my intense pursuit of affirmation, I neglected the importance of looking within. Just as Evan Hansen viewed his (therapist-ordained) notes to self with scorn, I became so preoccupied with repressing my struggles and flaws that I refused to truly see and understand the person I was. My desire to be ‘found’ was fundamentally contingent upon the presence of a kind and merciful external gaze.

Yet, beyond seeking recognition and validation from others, the idea of being ‘found’ is ultimately rooted in self-acknowledgement. It is less about someone reaching out to save you and more about finding the strength to reach inwards, to offer yourself the same kindness and understanding you seek from the world. Without this empathy, the search for affirmation becomes a hollow pursuit, a cycle of dependency on external validation that can never truly satisfy.

But acknowledging the self’s vulnerabilities is far from easy – especially with the need to preserve our sense of personal pride and dignity. Embracing the truth of our existences requires courage, and it necessitates the willingness to first admit that we are not invincible, nor are we entirely in control of how we are perceived. We should remember that accepting imperfection does not mean surrendering to it, but rather finding strength within it. After all, dignity does not come from perfection but from the grace with which we face our flaws and strive to grow despite them. Our value is very much intrinsic to our being.

As Evan Hansen so potently frames in his notes — "Dear Evan Hansen, today is going to be a great day and here's why: because today at least you're you and, well, that's enough." — the very fact that we are who we are as imperfect human beings is already a victory worth celebrating. So, let us carry that reminder with us as we look within, and slowly learn how to approach each day with the courage to be authentic.

Teng likes eating rice cake. There can never be enough rice cake. Writing is a medium of healing for her, and while she is still learning, she hopes to be able to offer a space of comfort and understanding to others

You Are More Than Your Appearance: Letting Go of Beauty Anxiety

By Zeng Yi Ting

Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and noticed every small flaw that others cannot see? Perhaps you have browsed social media and compared yourself to those who look effortlessly beautiful. Alternatively, a comment about your appearance may linger in your mind longer than it should.

In today's world, aesthetic standards are everywhere - on screens, in daily life, and even in our own thoughts. They make us believe that we must appear in some way to be accepted, loved, and even worthy. But the fact is, your value is not measured by your appearance. Let's take some time to explore why beauty anxiety arises and how we can start getting rid of it.

Why Do We Feel This Way?

Appearance anxiety often stems from society, media, and sometimes even our own expectations of us. However, social media presents us with carefully edited and unrealistic images. We cannot see filters, lighting techniques, professional makeup, and sometimes even the secrets hidden behind those "perfect" photos. The people we compare to also have moments of self doubt, no one always looks flawless.

Appearance is just a part of us. It does not represent our kindness, wisdom, enthusiasm, nor does it represent the feelings we give to others. The people who truly love us are not because of the shape of our nose or waist circumference, but because of our inner selves.

How to Let Go of Beauty Anxiety?

1. Restricting social media comparison

Please remember that social media is often carefully selected highlights, not reality. If certain accounts make you feel insecure, consider unfollowing them and immersing yourself in content that praises authenticity, diversity, and beauty.

2. Appreciate the function of the body, not just its appearance

Perhaps the fat in our abdomen and legs is not just excess weight - it plays a crucial role in protecting our health. It helps regulate body temperature, supports important functions, and even provides energy when needed. Instead of seeing it as something to get rid of, try to appreciate your body because it allows you to do many incredible things - walk, dance, embrace, and experience life. Your body is not just a decoration that needs to be judged; It is a living, breathing container that accompanies you through every day.

3. Redefine beauty in your own way

Beauty is not just about appearance. A warm smile, confident presence, and kind heart are all beautiful. The truly important people in your life care more about these things than any superficial details.

4. Put yourself in a positive position


Spend more time with people who encourage and support you, rather than those who create anxiety for you. The more you accept yourself, the more others will be attracted to your confidence and authenticity.

You are not just a face in the mirror or a number on a scale. You are a symbol of laughter, kindness, and resilience. The feelings you give others, your performance in the world - these are what truly define you. So next time you look in the mirror, don't look for flaws, try to see yourself as someone worthy of love and kindness. Because you are you.

Yiting is a Chinese student currently studying in Singapore. She enjoys listening to music and running, and has a deep passion for psychology. Her academic journey includes attending a psychology summer program at Oxford University and participating in the British Psychology Olympiad Competition. 

In addition, Yiting is also committed to public welfare activities. She participated in a project to write letters to children in mountainous areas of China, providing companionship and support for them.

When you're feeling down

By Angie

 

Encouragement

What would you like to encourage yourself with, the next time you're feeling down, just like you would encourage a friend?

Start a journaling practice regularly and gather the ways you've coped with negative feelings. What worked for you, what did you do that helped you to survive your bad days? Do you remember?

Anxiety and panic attacks
 
From the Mind UK website, it lists ways to cope with anxiety and panic attacks, and keeping a diary is one of the ways.
 
“It might help to make a note of what happens when you get anxious or have a panic attack. This could help you spot patterns in what triggers these experiences for you, or notice early signs that they are beginning to happen.
 
You could also make a note of what's going well. Living with anxiety can mean you think a lot about things that worry you or are hard to do. It's important to be kind to yourself and notice the good things too.”
(https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/self-care/)
 
What is journaling?

“Journaling is the practice of regularly writing down your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and reflections. It’s a way to support your mental health, explore your inner self, understand your emotions, and express thoughts that you might not feel comfortable sharing with others.
Some might use their journal as a diary to document daily events and their reactions to them, while others might use it as a tool to explore their innermost thoughts and feelings, away from anyone else's judgment or expectations.”

(https://www.calm.com/blog/how-to-journal-for-mental-health)

I just started my journaling practice in 2025

Writing can be therapeutic, and I've just started my journaling practice in 2025. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by my emotions and it is helpful to name them or try to describe what I'm going through in my journal. It helps me process my thoughts, feelings and alleviates the symptoms of my mental health illnesses. I have anxiety, panic attacks, depression and schizophrenia. I also have high blood pressure, so learning to cope with anxiety and stress is a priority for me to help my mental health.
Here is a website with journal prompts for you to explore:

“What can you do today to take better care of yourself?”
(https://mindfulhealthsolutions.com/20-journaling-prompts-for-mental-health/)

Journaling is an activity that helps you to reflect and process your thoughts and feelings. You could notice the patterns and triggers that sets off your anxiety, panic attacks and relapses. You don't have to show your journal to anyone but you could include things you've written in your journal within your therapy and counselling sessions, for the therapist and counsellor to have a better understanding of your situation.
Always remember to reach out and seek help if you feel unwell or unable to cope with what you are experiencing. You can Google for Singapore mental health helplines to reach out for help.

How journaling has helped me

I felt anxious and depressed most of the time, and I didn't remember why I was feeling that way, I just felt it.
So I asked myself in my journal, “What is stressing you out?”

I reflected upon my life and the first thing that came to my mind was my family. Why? What did they do? Their high expectations of me often made me feel stressed out because I couldn't fulfill their wishes for my life. They tried to get me to do a job hunt for high paying jobs whenever I was more stable in my mental health recovery journey. Recovery is not linear for me, it doesn't happen “in a straight line” for me. I have relapses on and off, just when I'm feeling better, things that stressed me out would cause me to have nervous breakdowns. But because I've been maintained in recent years by monthly injections at my long term follow ups with the hospital, my relapses have not been happening for some time now.

My highest qualification is only the O Levels, so how am I going to find a high paying job? The fact that I can become more stable sometimes during my recovery journey was encouragement for my family, they thought if I could become more stable, that meant I could conquer all odds. I'm only human, my mental health illnesses and other chronic illnesses have side effects on me, like causing bad memory, tremors in my hands, dissociation and having slower reactions amongst other things.

I've been hospitalized several times throughout the 21 years of my mental health recovery journey after my first diagnosis in 2004. My family had given up hope on me, thinking I would never recover at all. It wasn't just my family that caused my mental health illnesses, I needed long term medication to help my chemical imbalances in my brain and my physical body to stabilize. On and off throughout the long years, I've attended counselling sessions too and they helped me to cope with my illnesses through breathing exercises that the counsellors taught me to do. You can easily Google and find different types of breathing exercises that people use to relieve anxiety and depression.
My older sister said she's heard of people with only the O Levels qualifications become successful in life, with lots of income, lots of opportunities and big circles in their work and social parts of their lives. She has several Master's degrees as her highest qualifications but she doesn't have mental health illnesses. I'm surprised that she thinks I'm very capable but the reality is that I had panic attacks regularly and almost always walked out on my first day of work for most jobs in the past 21 years, dealing with my mental health illnesses. Prior to the onset of my mental health illnesses, I had jobs like being a fashion boutique assistant, a cashier at shopping malls, a waitress in Western food restaurants etc.

I was diagnosed in my early 20s and I'm now 43 years old. It's been a long time dealing with treatments and medication but those are necessary to help me become more stable mentally and emotionally. Reaching out to seek help is important.

I recently had a talk with my family, especially with my mom and my older sister. I requested them to have more realistic expectations of me because I am not Superwoman or the kind of success story they've been hoping that I am. I am just me, and I can't live up to their high expectations. I needed them to know and realize I'm very common and not a super achiever. They've relaxed on me after that talk and I've been having less panic attacks.

If I didn't start journaling and ask myself, “What is stressing you out?”, I would never have been able to process my thoughts and feelings as effectively as reflecting upon my current situation to think of what was contributing to my negativity.

Recovery isn't just depending on medication, it requires working on yourself too. And journaling can be a starting point. It is a useful signpost but as in all things, use it in moderation and have balance in life. Please seek help from therapists and counsellors if you feel unwell or unable to cope with your situation, seek help from medical professionals.

Angie has a writing hobby and she was born, raised and based in Singapore, Southeast Asia. Angie is 43 years old and was first diagnosed with anxiety, depression and schizophrenia in 2004. She had several hospitalizations throughout 21 years of her mental health recovery journey. Angie also has several other chronic illnesses like high blood pressure, diabetes etc. She copes with her illnesses by listening to music, reading ebooks and scribbling some random writings in exercise books. She is on long term follow up with the hospital for all her illnesses.

镜中面

By Wang Yixuan

玻璃摔碎的声音。争吵的声音。抽泣的声音。

这些声音好像覆盖了她儿时全部的记忆。就像湖面上的藻类植物,不让任何光照进湖里。

有一次,被打碎的是一面镜子。那个镜子粉粉的,在上面镶了一个非常劣质的“水晶”。对于一个上了中学的女孩来说,已经过于幼稚了。但那是她的镜子,她唯一的镜子。至于她父亲为什么打碎她那么喜爱的镜子,她已经忘了。任何琐碎的事在他眼里都可能变成发脾气的借口,或许是因为她没好好写字帖,或许是因为他那天过的不顺心。

最后,镜子上那个塑料水晶掉了下来,背面发黄的胶彻彻底底地暴露了出来,镜子碎片也散落一地。她看着玻璃中映着的自己。她的脸也像镜子碎成了无数片,分割着她流着泪的眼睛和被打红的脸颊。她默默地捡起碎片,试着用胶水把它们拼凑起来,就像她的人生一样,不断地被打碎,又不断地被粘起来。

她不知道拼了多久,才勉强让镜子大概恢复原本的形状。但还是有些碎片消失得无影无踪,无法被弥补。而碎品间的裂缝默默地宣扬着曾经发生过的事情。她想,或许有一天,她也会摔得粉碎,就像家里许许多多的玻璃制品一样。

但她没想到那一天会来的这么快。那是她从记事起父母最激烈的一次争吵,她一遍又一遍地听到
玻璃碎掉的刺耳的声音,好像直入心脏的刺痛。

一个玻璃碎片在她最不能忍受的时候滑进了房间里。就好像,命中注定。既然她活着的意义只有反复被摔碎,那她看不到希望。因为希望,是逃离这里,是无止无休的争吵的尽头。是一个不可能存在的事情。

她捡起了冰冷的玻璃碎片,小心地用手指划过断裂的地方的凹凸不平。她缓慢地伸出了左手,把碎片放在手腕最薄的位置。碎片很锋利,她没用多少力气,血就流了出来。

但很疼。太疼了。疼到她放弃了。她放下了碎片,去厕所冲洗伤口。因为她在疼痛中意识到了自己活着的希望—因为不想再让自己感到疼痛。

之后,她放下了那段黑暗的时光,找到了自己的光明,自己活着的希望。只有手腕上浅浅的伤疤
偶尔会让她想起破碎的过去。

不过没关系。她不会再怕了。她已经放下了。

又一次,她的镜子掉在了地上,再次碎掉了。那个镜子普普通通的,她已经忘记了那个镜子具体长什么样子了。那是她的个镜子之一。

收拾碎片时,她看向碎片中映着的自己。她没有流泪,也没有被打。

虽然她的脸在碎片中支离破碎,但她的人生不再是了。

不管黑夜显得多么漫长,多么恐怖,白昼总会带来光明,带来希望。

Yixuan is an author with a passion for writing about mental health who aims to shed light on the complexities of the human mind and promote greater understanding and awareness. Besides writing, she also enjoys traveling and playing the guitar.

How to Talk to Someone About Their Mental Health : A Journey of Connection

By Cora Soong


In a world that celebrates and respects busyness over balance and resilience over vulnerability, initiating a conversation about mental health can feel like stepping onto fragile grounds. Yet, these conversations matter. A lot. When someone you care about seems to be weighed down by invisible weights, how do you bridge the gap between your concern and their silence, the smiles they plaster on their faces? This is not just a guide. It is an invitation to reflect on the art of human connection and the courage it takes to reach out.

Why Talking About Mental Health Feels so Hard?

Society’s stigma around mental health often leaves us second-guessing ourselves. What if we say the wrong thing? What if we make things worse? What if we get judged for reaching out? But consider this : the fear of discomfort should never outweigh the opportunity to be the lifeline for someone who feels unseen, for someone who feels unheard. Avoiding these conversations perpetuates the isolation that many who struggle with mental health already feel. By being the conversation starter, you are not offering a cure, instead you are offering companionship. And sometimes, that is what someone needs. Not a solution, but just someone who’s present.

What Does Empathy Look Like in Action?

Choose the Right Moment : Timing and setting matters. Pick a calm, private setting where neither of you feels rushed. It could be during a meal or even a quiet walk. Rather than an interrogation, make it flow naturally like an open dialogue.

Start with Observations and Not Assumptions : Express your concerns with neutral and non-judgemental language. To guide, you may consider using “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter lately, is everything okay?” The whole idea of this approach is to show care without giving the other party any pressure to explain.

Listen Without Fixing : Resist the urge to offer immediate solutions or advice. Sometimes, all someone wants is to be heard. Practice reflective listening by summarising their feelings, for example “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed by…” This validates their emotions without minimising them, because how often do we listen to respond rather than to understand?

Ask Open-Ended Questions : “How can I support you?” or “What has been on your mind lately?” are questions that invite deeper sharing. Avoid asking yes-or-no questions as they often can shut down dialogues.

Respect Their Boundaries : It is important to remember that not everyone will be ready to open up – and that’s okay! Let them know you’re there for them whenever they’re ready. Let them know you’re there for them whenever they’re ready. Refrain from forcing someone to open up. If they want to, they would.

When Words Fall Short

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our words may not land as we intended. In these moments, your presence can speak louder than anything you say. A shared silence, a thoughtful gesture, or simply being there can convey a message of unwavering support.

What You Gain by Reaching Out

While these conversations are inherently about supporting the other person, they teach us about ourselves at the same time. By challenging ourselves to confront our discomfort, we reflect in our bias and grow in empathy. We broaden our understanding of human nature and what it means to be human just by reaching out and stepping into somebody else’s world.

Closing Thought

Your courage to start a conversation about mental health might just be the spark to inspire others to do the same. In a society yearning for authenticity and connection, each act of vulnerability has the power to create ripples. Perhaps the most important question isn’t “What if I say the wrong thing?”, but more of “What if my words make a difference?” 

You don’t need to know it all, you just need to be present.  


Cora is a passionate writer who believes in the power of open conversations about mental wellness. Drawing from her own reflections and practical insights, she aims to create a safe and supportive space for readers. When Cora is not writing, she enjoys exploring thought-provoking topics and connecting with others through shared stories. She looks forward to sharing more of her works with you!

(Photograph retrieved from Culture Connected)

Breaking Stigmas: Perceptions of mental health in Southeast Asia (generational divide)

By Teng (pseudonym)


As the age-old adage goes: “Ang pagiging matatag ay susi sa pagtawid sa anumang pagsubok.” This quote, which translates from Tagalog to read “resilience is the key to overcoming any challenge,” is but one of many Filipino proverbs that encapsulate the nation’s enduring ethos of psychological strength and determination. A similar sentiment is powerfully echoed in the Indonesian saying “Bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian”, which emphasizes the importance of perseverance through hardship as a path to eventual fulfillment.

This parallel between Filipino and Indonesian wisdom highlights the shared cultural values of resilience and grit across Southeast Asia. Home to a group of nations deeply-rooted in hierarchy and tradition, the region boasts a vibrant social fabric shaped by tumultuous colonial legacies and histories of struggle for self-determination. Southeast Asian societies, as nascent nations emerging from colonial rule (except Thailand) and periods of war, have spent the past half-century being hyper-focused on building self-sufficiency and material stability without reliance on colonial resources. Their abilities to rise above adversity through unity, hard work, and unwavering hope, has thus been an immense source of pride amongst the pioneering generations of independent Southeast Asia. 

Take Vietnam for example, whose history (in the 20th century) is tainted with violent conflicts that bred poverty, political instability, and infrastructural ruin. The end of the second world war bore witness to the near-immediate outbreak of the first Indochina war in 1946, which was characterized by a violent guerilla campaign between North Vietnam and French imperial forces. Not long after, the eruption of the second Indochina war saw North Vietnam, South Vietnam, and American troops fighting a prolonged battle in the already war-battered terrains of Indochina.

These tumultuous times had in turn shaped tough, survival-oriented generations that prioritized material security over emotional welfare. After all, resilience and practicality were absolute necessities for navigating a world governed by sheer unpredictability. The emphasis on stability and tangible success became deeply ingrained, influencing cultural values, parenting styles, and economic decisions even long after the guns fell silent.

However, beneath these portrayals of strength and resilience lies an unsettling reality about the ethos of the region. In 2023, a study by the World Health Organization (WHO) reported that 1 in 7 people are living with a mental health condition in Southeast Asia. Despite this alarming statistic, as many as 90% of those in need of mental health support are not receiving adequate care — be it in terms of timely interventions, or proper psychiatric treatment. 

A harrowing case in point is the recent example of a woman in Kuala Lumpur who had crashed into a group of teenage boys after experiencing hallucinations. It is possible that she was suffering from schizophrenia, yet there were no records of her seeking mental health treatment in the state. Without formal psychiatric care or intervention, her mental state had likely become increasingly untenable, culminating in the devastating incident. This case can be paralleled to the ‘River Valley High slashing’ (dubbed) in Singapore, whereby a student of River Valley High School had struck another fellow student to death with a combat firefighting axe in the toilet. Despite experiencing severe symptoms of major depressive disorder prior to the attack, the assailant had only recently begun receiving intensive treatment for his condition. The slashing was deemed by psychiatrists as a manifestation of his pent-up despair, which was further enabled by his exposure to violent videos online. 

These two examples thus accentuate the glaring gap in mental health care across the Southeast Asian region, which can pose a critical challenge to the rights and wellbeing of the masses. If not given the proper care and attention, mental stress can impose a heavy toll on both the individuals experiencing it and those around them. 

With that being said, however, I would like to strongly emphasize that mental stress does NOT inherently lead to violent behavior or crimes. While mental health challenges can impact an individual's well-being and decision-making, the vast majority of individuals experiencing mental stress are not violent. In fact, they are more likely to be victims of violence rather than perpetrators. Thus, instead of linking mental health issues to violence, it is important to view incidents similar to the aforementioned ones with great empathy and awareness. Why is there such a prevalent gap in the mental health sector of Southeast Asia? Why aren’t individuals who grapple with mental health challenges receiving the professional treatment that they need and deserve? 

To answer these questions, a closer examination of the complexities within this void in the mental health sector is required. Experts highlight that the gap in mental health care is not solely attributable to the insufficient access to social services, but also arises from individuals' reluctance to seek support. While systemic underfunding and political oversight have undoubtedly contributed to the deprioritization of mental health within national agendas, it is equally important to address the cultural barriers that perpetuate this issue. This refers specifically to the deep-seated stigma surrounding vulnerability across Southeast Asian states, whereby the region’s strong emphasis on resilience and self-reliance may have inadvertently fostered an environment where seeking psychological help is often frowned upon. 

In the eyes of past generations who have been raised with an iron fist, mental health struggles are often perceived as personal weaknesses, rather than as legitimate concerns. A case in point is the slew of condescending labels that have gained increasing traction among Southeast Asian societies, reflecting public perceptions of younger generations as ‘fragile’ and ‘entitled.’ For example, the term “durian generation” is particularly common in Singapore and Malaysia. It has been (quite creatively) used to describe adults born between the late 1980s and mid-1990s who, much like the flesh of a durian, were perceived to be “soft” or “weak” on the inside. This is because improvements in material living standards and increased mental health awareness during the late ‘80s and ‘90s had contributed to the emergence of a generation that was more open to expressing vulnerability — a phenomenon that was unprecedented for older generations who were accustomed to suppressing their emotions. 

What is interesting, however, is that the term “strawberry generation” has also been subsequently applied to individuals born from the 1990s onwards. Originating in Taiwan, the label was later adopted by Chinese-speaking communities within Southeast Asia, similarly characterizing the younger generations as “easily bruised” and incapable of handling pressure. This trend highlights the perpetuation of a harmful generational cycle within Southeast Asian communities, where vulnerability is portrayed as something to be ridiculed. As a result of this stigma, deep-seated feelings of shame are instilled into those who grapple with psychological stress, compounding their fear of seeking help. Because of the need to put forth a brave front, many individuals in distress fly under the radar of institutional support systems, bottling their inner pressures until they reach a breaking point. 

Evidently, a mindset shift is needed. Not only amongst the older generations, but also amongst youths who have internalised the stigma surrounding mental health. Communities within Southeast Asia need to understand that vulnerability is not a sign of failure, but a part and parcel of humanity. What defines our humanity is the very existence of our limits and emotions after all, shaping our capacity for empathy, connection, and growth. And if anything, the recognition of one’s vulnerabilities is a stepping stone to achieving resilience and mental fortitude, as it builds greater self-awareness and refines our abilities to navigate challenges more effectively. 

While this change in mentality is easier said than done, given how deeply-entrenched current perceptions towards mental health care are, it is a necessary step toward fostering a more compassionate and inclusive society. Let us start from ourselves first (that is often the hardest step) — by embracing vulnerability, practising empathy, and normalizing conversations about mental health. Small actions, such as offering a listening ear and encouraging help-seeking behaviors, can collectively create ripple effects that challenge stigma and inspire broader cultural change. Hopefully, through these efforts, we can lay the foundation for a society where mental well-being is prioritized, and vulnerability is seen not as a flaw but as a strength that unites us all.



Teng (pseudonym) likes eating rice cake. There can never be enough rice cake. Writing is a medium of healing for her, and while she is still learning, she hopes to be able to offer a space of comfort and understanding to others.

The "I'm Not Good Enough" Trap: Making Peace with Self-Criticism

By Zeng Yiting


Have you ever looked in the mirror or reflected on your life, and thought about "I'm not good enough" or "Why am I like this"? Many of us are too familiar with this voice of self-doubt. It often surfaces when we compare ourselves to others, fail to meet our expectations, or when life doesn't go according to plan.

But here is the truth: you are not alone in feeling this way. Many of us carry this silent burden, and yes, it feels heavy. But more importantly, you don't have to constantly fall into this cycle of self-criticism. Let's explore how to peacefully coexist with the sharp voice within, and even change it.

Where Does "I'm Not Good Enough" Come From?

This feeling is often unconscious and takes root unconsciously. Perhaps you have noticed since childhood that when you achieve success, you are more likely to receive praise than just doing your best. Or someone's unintentional words may leave a mark in your heart. No matter what the source is, these feelings are because you care deeply - about your own goals, about others, and about living a meaningful life. This is not a disadvantage, but a strength. Sometimes, we associate happiness with achieving high standards. We tell ourselves, 'If I could do better, I would be happy.' But life is not a competition for perfection, and your value cannot be measured by achievements or comparisons with others.

In today's world, social media amplifies these feelings. We see exciting versions of other people's lives and wonder why I can't be like them? But what we forget is that our behind-the-scenes moments aren’t meant to compete with someone else’s curated story. You are also the protagonist in your life, and your story is equally valuable.

If you are reading this article and feeling the pressure of 'not being good enough', I want you to know: sometimes having this feeling is normal, it doesn't mean you are weak - it means you are an emotional person. Imagine a dear friend coming to you and whispering in a sad tone, 'I'm not good enough.' What would you say? Would you criticize them? Or will you hold their hands, and remind them of all the ways they are enough.?

Now, what if you could give yourself the same kindness?

How to reconcile with yourself?

1. When that critical voice appears, stop and ask yourself, 'What do I need now?' Perhaps it's rest, comfort, or just a breath. Whatever it is, please allow yourself to accept it without any guilt.

2. Replace the harsh idea of "I can't do anything well" with some gentler thoughts: "I've done my best, I've surpassed my previous self.

3. Don't focus on goals you haven't achieved, but acknowledge what achievements you have made. Maybe things haven't progressed perfectly, but look how far you've come! You are ready, you have appeared, and you have learned something in this process. This is growth, worth celebrating.

4. Be kind to your unfinished tasks. Life is not a list, but a journey. You don't have to do everything to the best of your ability right now.

A Final Whisper

Being human means being imperfect. It means stumbling, learning, and growing. The “I’m not good enough” trap is a common one, but it doesn’t define you.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take this as a reminder: You are a unique, valuable person just as you are. You’ve done better than you might realize—in the past, and you will continue to in the future. You are enough, and you always have been.

Yiting is a Chinese student currently studying in Singapore. She enjoys listening to music and running, and has a deep passion for psychology. Her academic journey includes attending a psychology summer program at Oxford University and participating in the British Psychology Olympiad Competition. 

In addition, Yiting is also committed to public welfare activities. She participated in a project to write letters to children in mountainous areas of China, providing companionship and support for them.

The Importance of Mental Health Awareness

By Ashlee Jing


Mental health is an integral part of our overall well-being, yet it often receives less attention than physical health. Addressing this disparity is vital in promoting societal understanding, reducing stigma, and encouraging those who struggle to seek help.

First and foremost, awareness helps dismantle the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Misconceptions about conditions such as anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder often lead to discrimination and isolation, intentional or not. By encouraging open conversations, we can create a more accepting environment, where individuals feel safe to share their struggles and experiences without fear of judgment.

Additionally, mental health awareness highlights the prevalence of mental health challenges. According to global research, one in four people will experience a mental health issues in their lifetime. Awareness campaigns can educate the public about the signs and symptoms of mental illnesses, enabling early intervention. Early treatment not only improves outcomes but can also prevent minor issues from escalating into more severe conditions.

Finally, awareness can lead to systemic change by influencing policymakers to allocate resources for mental health services. Increased funding can enhance access to therapy and counselling services, ensuring that help is available to those in need.

In conclusion, mental health awareness is essential for creating a compassionate society where individuals are empowered to seek help and prioritise their personal well-being. By educating the public, stigma surrounding mental health can be dismantled and we can take significant strides toward a healthier, more inclusive society.

Ashlee is a new volunteer who is currently studying at National Junior College. She wishes to take courses in humanities fields such as psychology or political science.


Navigating the irony of self-care : It’s okay. You’re okay. 

By Teng (pseudonym)


We live in a self-care obsessed modern era, where the concept of ‘prioritizing personal well-being’ has become a raging cultural phenomenon. The widespread use of the hashtag #selfcare exemplifies this trend, amassing more than 87 million posts on Instagram and approximately 14 million shorts on Tik Tok. From curated skincare routines to elaborate sleep hacks, the popularity of 'self-care rituals' on social media highlights society’s growing preoccupation with sustaining and nurturing oneself in an increasingly demanding world. Even search engines such as Bing, Google and Yahoo perpetuate this trend, saturating users’ feeds with articles showcasing the newest self-care tips and tricks.

Breaking out due to stress? Perhaps it is high time to switch up your imbalanced diet for a cleaner palate! Consume more omega-3 fatty acids and cut down on foods with a high glycemic index. 

Feeling anxious and finding it hard to concentrate on day-to-day tasks? Here are 10 habits you should integrate into your daily routine in order to calm your mind, sharpen your focus, and regain control over your day.


Consumerist forces have hopped onto this bandwagon too. According to a study by McKinsey & Company, the global wellness market exceeds $1.5 trillion. While healthcare makes up the largest share of wellness spending, beauty care closely follows, with Japanese consumers attributing a whopping 29.7% of their wellness spending to beauty products and cosmetic procedures. Skincare brands, hair salons, and massage parlours enthusiastically preach the slogan of ‘Pamper[ing] yourself after a long day — you deserve it!’ as they siphon your money away. 
 

Yet, amidst all this frenzy about self-care and indulging in little treats, what you’re left with is a profound sense of….stress. And a nagging shame for failing to follow the advice screaming at you from every video, every article, and every advertisement. Am I neglecting my body? you wonder. Why aren’t I going the extra mile to improve my health and well-being—to take more steps, sleep earlier, and eat better—when I know I should? What’s wrong with me?


The answer? Nothing.

Somehow, the modern art of self-care has shifted from a soothing practice into yet another expectation. Into an obligation individuals feel compelled to fulfill. Instead of offering comfort, this concept has ironically become a source of pressure, imposing an added standard against which individuals measure their worth. This transformation is due to the added social element that has been cast upon what was otherwise meant to be a deeply intimate practice. Self-care is not a new concept after all — the sacred tradition of meditation has been deeply-entrenched in the history of the Indian subcontinent since thousands of years ago, while the Ancient Greeks (encouraged by the preaches of Aristotle) consciously sought to practise emotional regulation as a means of achieving psychological balance and fulfilment. As a modern obsession, the idea of ‘self-care has been placed under greater public scrutiny. The proliferation of digital technology has made it easier for individuals’ private lives to be made hyper-visible, while the spread of commercialism has further fuelled the commoditization of wellness practices into profitable industries. As a result, ‘self-care’ has been stripped of its authenticity, and of its abilities to foster the genuine introspection that is central to its principles. 

For us laymen, it is neither realistic nor sustainable to always operate at peak performance or maintain a constant state of 'primeness’. Especially not with our busy schedules in a cutthroat society where hustle culture has become increasingly prevalent in our daily lives. In fact, according to an article published by the Ministry of Manpower, the average number of working hours amongst locals added up to approximately 44 hours a week in 2023. Considering the typical 5-day work week in Singapore, this meant that the common man clocked in nearly 9 hours a day at work! Even on supposed ‘rest days’ (weekends & public holidays), our busy bees are overwhelmed by unrelenting remote tasks and pressing deadlines to meet. Age is not a discriminant, however, as our youths are similarly grappling tight schedules governed by academic demands, extracurriculars, and social relations. 
Nevertheless, this article does not seek to discourage you from pursuing self-improvement or striving to better your wellbeing. If anything, that is more than ideal, and I applaud you for taking steps towards a better you! It isn’t easy, and I sincerely hope that you'll be able to reach the goals that you have set. 

What this article does hope to convey, on the other hand, is a reassurance that you are on the right track. It is perfectly okay to experience moments of fatigue, doubt, or imperfection, as progress is rarely linear. Your pursuit of self-improvement is ultimately yours to define, in accordance with your values, priorities, and aspirations. Hence, allow yourself the grace to move at your own pace, beyond external depictions of what progress should look like. 

This is beautifully exemplified in a video that I recently came across, by a well-loved YouTuber named Alivia D’Andrea. In her video “How glowing up ruined my life”, she was extremely vulnerable in admitting how her desperate quest for ‘self-improvement’ — in the forms of weight loss, skin renewal and achieving the ‘perfect’ body — had contrarily fuelled an initial obsession over her appearance, exacerbating her disordered eating and compounding her burnout. Ironically, while she believed that ‘glowing up’ would be key to her happiness, she shared that the relentless pressure to fit into societal expectations, paired with her harshness towards herself when her journey of ‘self-care’ proved to be non-linear, had only bred further self-loathing. Her vlogs (titled ‘Glow-up diaries’), which she had previously utilised to document her process and maintain accountability to her viewers, were often characterized by tearful episodes. It was only after she had taken an extended break from video-making on Youtube, giving herself the space to both reflect on what she truly wanted and to pace her journey, that she was able to find the strength to embrace herself again. 


Alivia’s story is a reminder that self-improvement is not about striving for perfection or meeting unrealistic standards, but about learning to cultivate self-acceptance, balance, and compassion throughout the journey. Forgive yourself for the various ebbs and flows in your journey through life. There may be moments where you feel like you have not only “returned to square one’, but also ‘regressed’ into habits, mindsets, and patterns that are less than ideal. Please do not be too hard on yourself over such instances, for we are all just humans who are learning how to navigate through a life that comes without a clear-cut manual. What is most important is finding it within yourself to carry on — onto the next day, next year, next few decades…. It is this dynamicity that makes life worth living.

Because it is okay, you are okay. Hang in there, and it will be alright. 


Teng likes eating rice cake. There can never be enough rice cake. Writing is a medium of healing for her, and while she is still learning, she hopes to be able to offer a space of comfort and understanding to others.

By Wang Yi Xuan


她从来都没有喜欢过雨天。她说,以前不喜欢是因为她嫌带雨伞麻烦,每次都被淋成落汤鸡。她说,现在不喜欢是因为雨滴打在窗上的声音实在太吵了,吵得她心烦。但她内心其实知道的,她真正讨厌雨天的原因,是因为雨天让世界变得灰蒙蒙的,就像她的世界一样,仿佛在告诉她希望的光芒永远都不会照临在她身上了。

她不记得自己是从何时开始这么想的。或许是在几个月前,老板冷漠地告诉她“不用再来了”之后开始的。但也许这个念头的种子早在她仍是孩提时便被埋下了,经过了漫长岁月的洗礼,终于在最近的某一刻萌芽了。她唯一知道的是,这样的念头像藤蔓一样刺进她的肌肤里,硬拉着她进入更深的黑暗之中。有时,她任由自己沉溺在这种思绪之中,有时又想着摆脱那些抓着她的藤蔓。可每一次逃离的尝试,只让荆棘更深地刺入血肉之中,让鲜血毫无疑义地流出。因为最后,她还是会放弃扎。

她看向被阴雨天衬得更加灰暗的屋子。曾几何时,她和朋友在这里放着音乐谈笑风生。而现在,盘子在水池里堆着,脏衣服把洗衣机塞的满满当当的。她不是一个不爱干净的人,她也一直催促着自己要把落下的家务做了,但对于站起来都很累的她,家务变得如登天一般艰难。她只想睡一觉,睡很久很久,这样她就无需面对自己的无能为力……

她叹了一口气,看向窗外。路上的人们有的拿着伞,慢慢地走着,生怕水溅到自己的衣服和鞋子上。也有些人或是拿着包挡雨,慌忙地奔跑着,毕竟当身子已经湿透后,跑步时溅上的雨变得不足一提。在这些移动或快或慢的灰点中,却有一物是静止的。她住的楼层不高,如果把脸贴在窗户上,几乎可以清晰地看到路上的一切。

好奇心战胜了压在身上的疲惫感,她久违地站了起来,靠近了窗户。凉凉的玻璃贴在她脸颊上,她的呼吸使玻璃染上了一层蒙雾。此时,她也终于看清了那个一动不动的东西是什么。

那是一只小猫。一只虽然脏了,但明显毛发是白色的小白猫。它的毛发被雨水浸湿了,无家可归的卷缩在灯柱下瑟瑟发抖。

那一定很冷吧。她知道,因为她也曾像那只小白猫一样,绝望地站在雨中。

她呆呆地看了一会儿,便不假思索地拿上雨伞冲出了门。或许是因为她一直都喜爱小动物,此刻不忍心让那只小猫咪淋雨,又或许是因为她想弥补自己的童年,通过帮助小猫,拥抱以前的自己。

看到小猫咪后,她蹲了下来,慢慢地靠近。小猫咪感应到了有人靠近它,猛地抬起了头,“喵”了一声。她明知道猫咪不会理解她在说什么,却还是笑着道:“乖,别害怕,我来带你回家。” 她伸出了手,见猫咪没有抗拒,开始笨拙地试着抱起猫咪。经过几次尝试后,她湿透了,但也成功地抱起了小猫咪。它依偎在她怀中,冷地像块冰块,冷得她心脏发痛。

—— 八点钟的闹铃准时把她叫了起来。

她揉了揉眼睛,起床走向厨房。

一开始,她并没想养流浪的小猫咪。但看着那么亲人的小猫,她的心中也燃起了希望。或许,她也可以试着抚养这只小猫。若说责任小,她每天不需要花那么多时间和精力照看小猫,但若说责任大,她照顾的可是一个生命啊。她有种预感,小猫咪可以帮她打起精神来。

她把猫粮倒入碗中,呼唤道:“麦麦,吃饭啦。”听到她的声音,麦麦欢快地跑了过来吃起了饭。

人们说名字是一切羁绊的开始,如果它一直叫“小猫咪”,她可能就会狠下心来把它送给福利机构。

但它现在叫麦麦,是她给它起的名字。因为它闻起来像下午充满太阳味的麦田,像希望的味道。

她并不是睡了一觉醒来就有力气了。她有时还是会像以前那样浑身乏力,有时也会崩溃,但麦麦会默默地陪在她身边,用自己的小身躯试着温暖她的心。

不可否认,一切都在好转。

即使雨一直在下,但总会有人愿意为你撑伞,为你淋雨。

况且,这世上没有雨会一直下,因为那只是一片乌云,总有一天会走出来。


Yixuan is an author with a passion for writing about mental health who aims to shed light on the complexities of the human mind and promote greater understanding and awareness. Besides writing, she also enjoys traveling and playing the guitar.

Life perspective from a lifelong learner, in her late 40s

By Tan Poh Ching


These few months, I have been immersed in the academic environment at Ngee Ann Polytechnic campus.  The lessons are on youth’s mental health.  It has been more than two decades since I stepped into a polytechnic campus, to study for another diploma.  It is a total change in academic contents from the first polytechnic diploma which was  in accountancy.  Theoretically, even though, I am new in mental health-related learnings, I am no stranger to dealing with people with mental-related disorders.  However, I was then experiencing and learning from a practical perspective, with no relevant trainings to handle the different cases which I encountered.  It was just on the job training for me or to learn on my own as I was exposed to different youth, of differing thinkings or mental states. 

I had been teaching at different tuition centres, private schools and giving trainings in programmes as a freelance trainer, as well as giving home tuition for more than two decades.  I received minimal academic learnings in counselling and relevant teaching courses, at certificates level previously.  During these years of teaching, I had encountered students who had been diagnosed with dyslexia, autism, hyperactive, depression, physical symptoms associated with anxiety disorder etc.  I have to admit that I was also learning too, especially what problems they could suddenly face, with issues linked to their mental health level as I tutored them because I really met a lot of challenges in tutoring them.
 
Students faced a lot of stress as they tried to cope, in our local education system.  Parents continue to place a lot of emphasis in academic achievements.  This is a belief that has been rooted deep, in our society. 
During my time, as a teenager, competition for good grades were already in existence.  I recalled my good friend from secondary one, who suddenly just went absent from lessons for a week.  It was then I felt something was wrong.  From trying to find out from our school teachers and asking fellow classmates, it was then that we realised that she was not coming back to school classes anymore for the time being.  She was sick.  After some discussions, a few of us decided to go to see her at home, after knowing that she was just staying home.  During the home visitation, she told us that she had been hearing singing at night or even the daytime in her ears, with no reason.  I could see that she was tired as she looked like she was suffering from lack of sleep.  She had dark eye bags.  I also knew during our conversation that she had to take medications.  I understood that she was not sick physically but was suffering from depression due to academic stress.  I was sad as she was my good friend whom I knew since primary school.  She told us that she had to take one year of absence from school.

The world and Singapore healthcare system are starting to invest more into mental health and related investigations as well as research studies, to understand more and better treat patients as well as to remove the stigma of seeking treatment for mental health and related issues.   Mental health should be placed on priority for treatment. I am suggesting from a family member’s perspective since I witnessed how my elder sister suffered from depression and eventually passed away without even actually reaching 50 year old.  My elder sister passed away from relapse of breast cancer, nearly 9 years ago.  She suffered from depression in her mid 30s since the loss of her 3rd child.  She had to abort the child due to medical reason.  She was advised and given the option to do so.  Ever since then, she suffered from depression.   Not long after, she discovered a lump in her breast and was diagnosed with breast cancer.  All these happened within just a few years’ time.  She was not able to take care of herself properly and she did not follow up with her medical checkup after five years.   She was diagnosed with breast cancer again.  The second time diagnosis occurred nearly about ten years later from her first treatment for breast cancer.  During the first ten years, my parents were glad that she managed to survive.  However, I was actually not shocked at all, to hear from the doctors that she was already suffering from stage 4 cancer, in year 2016.  She was feeling very breathless at that time as the breast cancer cells reached her lungs.

I am sharing my stories about my encounters and want to advocate  for mental health treatment.  When mental health patients are treated early and well,  not only  can their lives be saved, quality of life also improves.  For youth, they can have a better future if they can manage their stress well, with support from caregivers and mentors.


Tan Poh Ching is a regular volunteer and semi-retired.  She is a lifelong learner who continues to take courses such as Customer Service.  Currently, she is a part-time student at Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Specialist Diploma in Mental Wellness and Youth Development.